Monday, November 29, 2004

What a Weekend

Wow, we had a busy weekend. We are not busy people, so compared to most, our weeked was probably pretty tame.

Saturday night, we went to a very nice dinner party for one of husband's supervisors. Many of my husband's co-workers were at this party. My husband is currently on a detail with higher management and it was intriguing to hear his co-workers from his prior office commenting on the buzz surrounding his career. Especially interesting for an unclimber. Word has it he's on the way 'up.' Rumor is he's 'being groomed' for management. Interesting. I've never been impressed with my husband, I'm not impressed with anyone and I don't expect them to be impressed with me. We are all humans in our own right, deserving of love and respect. There is no hierarchy -- no one is better than anyone else, especially by dint of title, rank, or money. Yes, I know I sound communist, but I think Jesus was sort of thinking along these lines as well.

Anyway, not impressed with my husband. He is one of the most wonderful human beings I've ever met, handsome, smart, kind, fun. Thats why I married him. And you know what I learned? He's also an excellent husband and a devoted father who does more than his fair share of work. In love? Yes. Impressed? No. Appreciative? Always, even though I don't show it. Admiring? Most definitely. Does that mean I'm impressed? Maybe, but I always think of the word meaning something not really deserved, something superficial. Expensive car? Impressive. Big house? Impressive. Designer clothes? You get my point or you don't.

How to be a supportive wife without becoming tainted by worldly ambitions? I don't know -- so far my brand of support is mostly to bring him back to earth -- not that he was ever leaving it. Maybe thats not the role I'm to play. How to be a supportive wife without ruining his career? I think the key to that may be my silence, not an easy task for me.

Whats my point? Why am I feeling so ruffled by all this? Because, at bottom, it doesn't seem right. My husband has noted that there are some people who are paying attention to him now that weren't before and its not just that he wasn't visible to them previously. I guess its just smacking of a lectionary reading from a few weeks back, how we are not to prefer anyone over another.

I didn't see too many people thanking the servers who were placing food in front of them and taking away dirty dishes. Whenever I'm feeling righteously indignant I get this feeling that I am probably wallowing in hypocrisy.

Perhaps I'm still disturbed from our viewing of Dogville.

Enough for now, my next post will be about our outing on Sunday, about which I have a completely different attitude.

3 comments:

Anne Zelenka said...

I also struggle with the issue of how I support my husband's career even though he and I sometimes feel ambivalent about the corporate world. But I see him feeling excited and energized by it often enough that I think it's on balance a good thing. Plus, our family needs a livelihood and I'd rather have a good one than a poor one.

Of course we have the added twist right now that we relocated primarily because it would boost my husband's career. That creates some angst for both of us, since we uprooted our family for something that's not an unqualified good. But I don't believe anything's 100% good or bad so it doesn't tangle me up too much.

I actually think it's a positive thing that your husband has been identified as high-potential. If there weren't anyone to lead organizations then he and all the other employees wouldn't have jobs at all. Someone's got to be groomed for management; why not him, being so smart and competent and all?

Marjorie said...

Why not him, indeed? So far, this is only the buzz of co-workers and I'm both superstitious and pessimistic -- I've never been comfortable with pedestals (for myself or my family). Its nice when people think well of you, but it may also stoke the fires of envy in those who really don't think well of you.

Maybe I'm not an unclimber, I'm just a big downer.

Marjorie said...

Why not him, indeed? So far, this is only the buzz of co-workers and I'm both superstitious and pessimistic -- I've never been comfortable with pedestals (for myself or my family). Its nice when people think well of you, but it may also stoke the fires of envy in those who really don't think well of you.

Maybe I'm not an unclimber, I'm just a big downer.