Thursday, November 18, 2004

The Dull Ache of Good-bye

Its a gray day out, a good day to move to Maui...

I'm feeling down -- I'm getting tired of watching friends move away, both my friends and my daughter's friends. Today, Anna is moving to Maui and Kyle and Andy are moving to California.

In the past year, many of our friends have moved. Gus and his family, Ella and her family, Emily and her family, Akshay and his family, and now Anna and Kyle and Andy. I'm weary of it.

When I say prayers with Suzanne at bedtime, after the usual opening (ever the Episcopalian am I), we pray for family members and friends by name. Lately, naming our friends who have moved has become too sad for me, so I use the blanket 'and our friends who have moved.' I stopped naming Kyle and Andy about a week ago. So why haven't I moved Anna yet?

I'm used to people moving away, this is a very transient area and I've lived here nearly all my life. In elementary school, I had a new best friend almost every year because my friends were constantly moving away. I was even able to get my ears pierced at age 13 rather than at 16 which was my mother's rule because my best friend moved away at the end of sixth grade. I wasn't even asking to get my ears pierced at the time. My mom just came into my room and out of nowhere told me I could get my ears pierced. I feel like my heart's been pierced.

It doesn't make much sense. We haven't seen much of Anna's family recently, they are busy. Kyle and Andy were off at preschool and kindergarten, so we no longer saw them during the week. But now they've all moved, so the possibility of seeing them is gone.

Oh well. Its the nature of things, you make friends, you lose friends. Life goes on. I just wanted to take a moment to say that even though I generally don't say good-bye -- I miss you all. But I think 4 1/2 is too young to get Suzanne's ears pierced.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

That is absolutely the saddest thing I've read in a while. I feel like my heart has been pierced. -- DH.

Larry said...

It is sad. But everything we lose prepares us for something better. More of my books have gone from my library than I have now-- and I have a bundle. Same with friends.

Marjorie, you reach the point where you realize that everyone is a friend-- if you let them be.
I've just come from praying with 21 people (plus their spouses, children, etc.) in the cardiac unit. 21 new friends, but I'll likely never see them again. They belong to God, as I do, and you do.

We are all family. Unlike God we don't have the mind and spirit to encompass all of them, but it makes no difference. You old friends have better places to be and new friends.

Some day we'll all meet in the Grand Beyond, and we'll be more fit to accomodate more friends.

Anne Zelenka said...

We really miss you guys. I cried for an hour the night before we left thinking of all the good things we were leaving behind. Anna keeps talking about Suzanne. Today when she was feeling particularly sad, she said, "I never get to see Suzanne anymore!" Maybe Suzanne and Anna can be pen pals.