I'm a unschooler at heart -- I see how much my kids learn just by living and by my providing them with books and toys to stimulate their interests and guide them in their learning.
Suzanne,5, has been very interested in writing recently -- I should say, in printing capital letters. We've got magnadoodles and paper and pens/crayons/pencils. We've got workbooks scattered around the house. She is doing a great job all by herself and is very motivated.
A friend was cleaning her closet and recently gave me several handwriting workbooks which I gladly took and handed over to Suzanne. The idea is she can work in them whenever she likes, however she likes.
Suzanne is not an unschooler at the moment. She wants school-at-home. "Teach me, mama!" Is her refrain. She wants me to walk her through the workbook. Egads! I HATE it. As a former honor roll student, I'm great at following directions. I could use a bit of work on free-thinking, but I'm a great direction follower. So, if the book says 'start at the top of the letter and make a downward stroke,' I'm going to get annoyed if Suzanne goes from bottom to top. I know I should work flexibility in, but I'm most flexible when I'm completely removed -- hence, my love of unschooling.
We'll work it out somehow, but right now, Suzanne has dictated to me a schedule as follows:
Morning: letters
Noon: numbers (printing numbers, I assume)
Afternoon: workbooks
Evening: encyclopedia and dictionary (I have NO idea what she means by this, maybe that she'll be reading them)
I'm worn out already.
Friday, August 19, 2005
Thursday, August 04, 2005
Homeschooling Apologetics
I was just e-mailing a former work colleague of mine about my plans to homeschool. I thought I'd share my response to his questions.
>>>Are there any requirements that you have to have to qualify to home teach?
In Virginia, you have to give notice and provide evidence of ability to teach as well as a description of your program of study. Evidence is satisfied by a college degree or a statement of why you think you can provide adequate instruction [i.e. prove you are literate], a teacher's certificate or using a specified curriculum with a teaching service. The description can be brief, just something to show that you've thought about it.
>>>Are there guidelines/requirements of content/curriculum for home schooling?
You don't have to follow them, but there are plenty of places you can look -- at the Virginia Standards of Learning [SOLs], the Core Knowledge series [What your first grader should know, etc], the World Book encyclopedia scope and sequence, there are lots of places on the internet you can find suggestions about what kids should be learning and when.
I just looked at the SOLs and found that she's already learned nearly all of what is supposed to be covered for kindergarten and has surpassed a lot of it. Which is why I like homeschooling, she doesn't have to slow down or speed up just in order to keep pace with the class. If she's getting something quickly, she can move through it fast; if she's not ready for something else, we can wait until she is rather than stress her out by pushing her.
>>>How do you deal with the socialization issues?
Ah, this is always a big worry but it doesn't really hold up on examination. I can't tell you how many times I was yelled at in school for socializing -- you're not supposed to be talking to your classmates. What is school socialization? Learning to wait in line? Go to the bank or a fast food restaurant or the grocery store, library, etc. Taking turns? Go to a playground and try to get on a swing or play with a popular toy at a playgroup. Raising your hand to speak? Go to a library storytime or museum program. And things that aren't learned in real life can be learned very quickly when the need arises.
As to playing with other kids -- we go to ballet class and we have playdates and go to park days and on field trips; when they're older they can volunteer. The problem quickly becomes limiting the social outings; its easy to get overextended. Another nice aspect of homeschooling is that socializing is not limited to the child's same-age peers, you can socialize by visiting nursing homes; you meet people at the grocery store and the library.
>>>Since you live in an area considered to have good public schools, what made you decide to home school?
Not only that, I was educated by the county's public school system! Just 3 years ago I was asking DH why would anyone live here and homeschool? Well, its mostly about freedom for me -- freedom from the school schedule and calendar. We don't have to have our daily lives controlled by school -- when we get up and when we get time together and when we can take a vacation.
We also get freedom from standardized curriculum. Like I said, Suzanne can move at her own pace in her learning -- she can advance far ahead of her age-mates without becoming intellectually arrogant [a real problem; I was in the GT system and looked down on those who weren't], or she can take longer in other parts of her learning without feeling like she's stupid. She can also learn what she wants to when she wants -- she's not told she has to wait until the subject is covered.
There are lots of other reasons why I like homeschooling, but freedom was what drew me to it in the first place. Plus, I don't think school is necessary for learning to occur -- I think it occurs better outside of it, really. You'll see with baby daughter how much she grows and learns and she doesn't need outside interference or the bribery of rewards to do it.
>>>Are there any requirements that you have to have to qualify to home teach?
In Virginia, you have to give notice and provide evidence of ability to teach as well as a description of your program of study. Evidence is satisfied by a college degree or a statement of why you think you can provide adequate instruction [i.e. prove you are literate], a teacher's certificate or using a specified curriculum with a teaching service. The description can be brief, just something to show that you've thought about it.
>>>Are there guidelines/requirements of content/curriculum for home schooling?
You don't have to follow them, but there are plenty of places you can look -- at the Virginia Standards of Learning [SOLs], the Core Knowledge series [What your first grader should know, etc], the World Book encyclopedia scope and sequence, there are lots of places on the internet you can find suggestions about what kids should be learning and when.
I just looked at the SOLs and found that she's already learned nearly all of what is supposed to be covered for kindergarten and has surpassed a lot of it. Which is why I like homeschooling, she doesn't have to slow down or speed up just in order to keep pace with the class. If she's getting something quickly, she can move through it fast; if she's not ready for something else, we can wait until she is rather than stress her out by pushing her.
>>>How do you deal with the socialization issues?
Ah, this is always a big worry but it doesn't really hold up on examination. I can't tell you how many times I was yelled at in school for socializing -- you're not supposed to be talking to your classmates. What is school socialization? Learning to wait in line? Go to the bank or a fast food restaurant or the grocery store, library, etc. Taking turns? Go to a playground and try to get on a swing or play with a popular toy at a playgroup. Raising your hand to speak? Go to a library storytime or museum program. And things that aren't learned in real life can be learned very quickly when the need arises.
As to playing with other kids -- we go to ballet class and we have playdates and go to park days and on field trips; when they're older they can volunteer. The problem quickly becomes limiting the social outings; its easy to get overextended. Another nice aspect of homeschooling is that socializing is not limited to the child's same-age peers, you can socialize by visiting nursing homes; you meet people at the grocery store and the library.
>>>Since you live in an area considered to have good public schools, what made you decide to home school?
Not only that, I was educated by the county's public school system! Just 3 years ago I was asking DH why would anyone live here and homeschool? Well, its mostly about freedom for me -- freedom from the school schedule and calendar. We don't have to have our daily lives controlled by school -- when we get up and when we get time together and when we can take a vacation.
We also get freedom from standardized curriculum. Like I said, Suzanne can move at her own pace in her learning -- she can advance far ahead of her age-mates without becoming intellectually arrogant [a real problem; I was in the GT system and looked down on those who weren't], or she can take longer in other parts of her learning without feeling like she's stupid. She can also learn what she wants to when she wants -- she's not told she has to wait until the subject is covered.
There are lots of other reasons why I like homeschooling, but freedom was what drew me to it in the first place. Plus, I don't think school is necessary for learning to occur -- I think it occurs better outside of it, really. You'll see with baby daughter how much she grows and learns and she doesn't need outside interference or the bribery of rewards to do it.
Saturday, July 23, 2005
Club Libby Lu Brought to You by the Public School
A few months ago, I was aghast at what parents were paying Club Libby Lu to do to their daughters.
Never fear, the local public school system is getting a piece of the pie. I guess you really have to see the pictures in the local paper to appreciate the strutting and preening of the grades 1 to 8 set. Grades 1 to 8 -- we're talking, what, like 6 years old to 14 -- these are not budding fashion designers, these are kids who would probably tell you what came between them and their Calvin Klein jeans if this were a different decade.
Can't wait to find out what the Fairfax County Public Schools Marketing Advisory Board is. Probably no big deal, just the schools trying to pair up your kids (i.e. consumers) with local businesses to take a lot of your money so the kids can look like streetwalkers or eat junk food or play video games.
But not to worry, the school system will then provide peer counselors to help your oversexualized kids; use public funding to research how to cut back on childhood obesity; and hire special education teachers to address the needs of your ADHD/ADD kid. Cause and effect or just a really efficient way to make money -- or both?
Never fear, the local public school system is getting a piece of the pie. I guess you really have to see the pictures in the local paper to appreciate the strutting and preening of the grades 1 to 8 set. Grades 1 to 8 -- we're talking, what, like 6 years old to 14 -- these are not budding fashion designers, these are kids who would probably tell you what came between them and their Calvin Klein jeans if this were a different decade.
Can't wait to find out what the Fairfax County Public Schools Marketing Advisory Board is. Probably no big deal, just the schools trying to pair up your kids (i.e. consumers) with local businesses to take a lot of your money so the kids can look like streetwalkers or eat junk food or play video games.
But not to worry, the school system will then provide peer counselors to help your oversexualized kids; use public funding to research how to cut back on childhood obesity; and hire special education teachers to address the needs of your ADHD/ADD kid. Cause and effect or just a really efficient way to make money -- or both?
The 5 Things Meme
I've been tagged for a meme by Purple Kangaroo via my blog with Anne, chocolate and peanut butter.
The 5 Things Meme
But first the rules to this meme game:
Remove the blog at #1 from the following list and bump every one up one place;
add your blog's name in the #5 spot;
link to each of the other blogs for the desired cross pollination effect.
1. Melody http://melslifeinanutshell.blogspot.com/
2. -A- http://motherswork.blogspot.com/
3. Heather http://outloudvoice.blogspot.com/
4. Purple_Kangaroo http://purplekangaroopuzzle.blogspot.com/
5. Unclimber http://unclimber.blogspot.com
Next: select new friends to add to the pollen count. (No one is obligated to participate).
You can just put blogs you read if you want to.
1. Donna at Sunny Side Up http://dgm.typepad.com/
2. Robbo at Llamabutchers http://llamabutchers.mu.nu/
3. Mike at Clanlally http://www.clanlally.com/
4. Rat Boy's blog http://homepage.mac.com/adaman2720/iblog/B1438670732/index.html
5. Julie's blog http://home.comcast.net/~jdaman1224/
Honorary 5. My cousin Kaila's blog, but I can't reveal her address lest her dad find it...
Honorary 5. Anne over at EconoMom (she's technically already been tagged via our joint blog, chocolate and peanut butter, but I want to send some linky-love her way)
Here's the game:
What 5 Things do you miss about your childhood?
1) Being in daily contact with my brother, Richard
2) Living with my family, it was a loving house and a lot of fun
3) Very few responsibilities -- doing well in school and that was pretty easy
4) The family cat
5) Vacationing with the family -- we went interesting places and had lots of fun, and I only had to pack for me!
Name your 5 favorite cartoons -- I haven't watched any of these in awhile, but I still love them
1) Simpsons
2) South Park
3) The Family Guy
4) King of the Hill
5) hmmm...I liked the Smurfs as a kid
Following the Purple Kangaroo: "I'm going to add a few more lists of 5 things I found on selkie's blog just now"
Five snacks I enjoy:
1) Nestle's Treasures -- chocolate candy with a peanut butter filling
2) Hershey's Dark Chocolate kisses
3) popcorn
4) nuts
5) cheese
Five songs I know all the words to -- I think I'll do a little creative writing here...
1) Paradise by the Dashboard Light -- Meatloaf
2) Trapped -- Bruce Springsteen
3) We're Not Gonna Take It -- Twisted Sister
4) Heart and Soul -- Ta Pow
5) Hit With Me Your Best Shot-- Pat Benetar
Five things I would do with $100 million:
1) Get therapy -- with all that money, I'd probably need it
2) Feel really, really guilty
3) Get more therapy to deal with the guilt
4) Worry about: where to give it, how to keep it, losing it, wanting more
5) Get more therapy to deal with the stress of having too much money
Five places I would escape to:
1) My home
2) Escape from what?
3) My parent's home
4) My brother's home
5) Ummm...my home
Five bad habits: easy enough, I'm probably immune to a couple of the Seven Deadly
1) Pride
2) Self-centeredness
3) Sloth
4) Not lustful enough -- sorry, but raising a couple of little kids is tiring
5) Bad language
Five things I like doing:
1) buying used books
2) scrapbooking and reading -- these are my evening activities
3) unschooling
4) volunteering with my state's homeschool organization
5) doing things with my family when no one is cranky, whining, or needs a diaper change
Five things I'd never wear:
1) a tattoo -- my views change constantly, I can't commit to something so permanent
2) a navel ring, tongue piercing, etc.
3) a studded leather collar -- well, not anymore
4) a chasubule
5) stiletto heels
Five TV shows I like: ohh, I can get all haughty here, I don't watch TV shows for myself
1) Mr. Rogers Neighborhood
2) Barney
3) Reading Rainbow
4) yeah....I've run out of steam
5) but when I did watch: Dawson's Creek, Felicity, Gilmore Girls
Gosh this is long....
Biggest joys of the moment:
1) My marriage
2) My kids
3) My family of origin
4) The freedom to spend lots of time with the above
5) The lack of worries
Five favorite toys:
1) The internet
2) Digital camera
3) My minivan
4) Whatever book I'm reading
5) My husband (and you know he's going to complain about ranking #5)
The 5 Things Meme
But first the rules to this meme game:
Remove the blog at #1 from the following list and bump every one up one place;
add your blog's name in the #5 spot;
link to each of the other blogs for the desired cross pollination effect.
1. Melody http://melslifeinanutshell.blogspot.com/
2. -A- http://motherswork.blogspot.com/
3. Heather http://outloudvoice.blogspot.com/
4. Purple_Kangaroo http://purplekangaroopuzzle.blogspot.com/
5. Unclimber http://unclimber.blogspot.com
Next: select new friends to add to the pollen count. (No one is obligated to participate).
You can just put blogs you read if you want to.
1. Donna at Sunny Side Up http://dgm.typepad.com/
2. Robbo at Llamabutchers http://llamabutchers.mu.nu/
3. Mike at Clanlally http://www.clanlally.com/
4. Rat Boy's blog http://homepage.mac.com/adaman2720/iblog/B1438670732/index.html
5. Julie's blog http://home.comcast.net/~jdaman1224/
Honorary 5. My cousin Kaila's blog, but I can't reveal her address lest her dad find it...
Honorary 5. Anne over at EconoMom (she's technically already been tagged via our joint blog, chocolate and peanut butter, but I want to send some linky-love her way)
Here's the game:
What 5 Things do you miss about your childhood?
1) Being in daily contact with my brother, Richard
2) Living with my family, it was a loving house and a lot of fun
3) Very few responsibilities -- doing well in school and that was pretty easy
4) The family cat
5) Vacationing with the family -- we went interesting places and had lots of fun, and I only had to pack for me!
Name your 5 favorite cartoons -- I haven't watched any of these in awhile, but I still love them
1) Simpsons
2) South Park
3) The Family Guy
4) King of the Hill
5) hmmm...I liked the Smurfs as a kid
Following the Purple Kangaroo: "I'm going to add a few more lists of 5 things I found on selkie's blog just now"
Five snacks I enjoy:
1) Nestle's Treasures -- chocolate candy with a peanut butter filling
2) Hershey's Dark Chocolate kisses
3) popcorn
4) nuts
5) cheese
Five songs I know all the words to -- I think I'll do a little creative writing here...
1) Paradise by the Dashboard Light -- Meatloaf
2) Trapped -- Bruce Springsteen
3) We're Not Gonna Take It -- Twisted Sister
4) Heart and Soul -- Ta Pow
5) Hit With Me Your Best Shot-- Pat Benetar
Five things I would do with $100 million:
1) Get therapy -- with all that money, I'd probably need it
2) Feel really, really guilty
3) Get more therapy to deal with the guilt
4) Worry about: where to give it, how to keep it, losing it, wanting more
5) Get more therapy to deal with the stress of having too much money
Five places I would escape to:
1) My home
2) Escape from what?
3) My parent's home
4) My brother's home
5) Ummm...my home
Five bad habits: easy enough, I'm probably immune to a couple of the Seven Deadly
1) Pride
2) Self-centeredness
3) Sloth
4) Not lustful enough -- sorry, but raising a couple of little kids is tiring
5) Bad language
Five things I like doing:
1) buying used books
2) scrapbooking and reading -- these are my evening activities
3) unschooling
4) volunteering with my state's homeschool organization
5) doing things with my family when no one is cranky, whining, or needs a diaper change
Five things I'd never wear:
1) a tattoo -- my views change constantly, I can't commit to something so permanent
2) a navel ring, tongue piercing, etc.
3) a studded leather collar -- well, not anymore
4) a chasubule
5) stiletto heels
Five TV shows I like: ohh, I can get all haughty here, I don't watch TV shows for myself
1) Mr. Rogers Neighborhood
2) Barney
3) Reading Rainbow
4) yeah....I've run out of steam
5) but when I did watch: Dawson's Creek, Felicity, Gilmore Girls
Gosh this is long....
Biggest joys of the moment:
1) My marriage
2) My kids
3) My family of origin
4) The freedom to spend lots of time with the above
5) The lack of worries
Five favorite toys:
1) The internet
2) Digital camera
3) My minivan
4) Whatever book I'm reading
5) My husband (and you know he's going to complain about ranking #5)
Thursday, July 21, 2005
Exhausted by Religion
Do you ever feel that way? I've been feeling this way for many months now. I used to do a canned, fundy-ish Bible Study. I really enjoyed that, but then I began to feel too spoon-fed. And then I met people who were clearly Godly, but would have been labelled otherwise by the Bible Study I was taking.
Now I'm just tired. I feel a bit left behind by great minds such as Larry and Kwakersaur. I'm not bothered by that so much, God has given me a mind that works, so even if I'm passed by others, I have enough to get along.
I'm leading a lectionary Bible study session in a week at my church and I can't get excited about it. I can't get excited about Christianity at the moment and I'm not interested in looking for another religion. As I see it, as mucked us as the Christian church may be by political interests beginning with Constantine [or earlier], Jesus is my man. Maybe the church has him all wrong, maybe we all do, but Jesus is my man. I'm not looking to replace him with Mohammed or Buddha or Abraham or Sophia or anyone. He's my man and I'm sticking with him.
I just wish I could be more excited by all of it.
Now I'm just tired. I feel a bit left behind by great minds such as Larry and Kwakersaur. I'm not bothered by that so much, God has given me a mind that works, so even if I'm passed by others, I have enough to get along.
I'm leading a lectionary Bible study session in a week at my church and I can't get excited about it. I can't get excited about Christianity at the moment and I'm not interested in looking for another religion. As I see it, as mucked us as the Christian church may be by political interests beginning with Constantine [or earlier], Jesus is my man. Maybe the church has him all wrong, maybe we all do, but Jesus is my man. I'm not looking to replace him with Mohammed or Buddha or Abraham or Sophia or anyone. He's my man and I'm sticking with him.
I just wish I could be more excited by all of it.
Tuesday, July 12, 2005
Hurry Up or You'll Get Left Behind in Kindergarten!
Oh please. My husband brought home the Wall Street Journal just so he could rile me up. He subscribed so he can read it on the train on the way to work and it usually does not make the return trip. Not today's paper, though, the possibility of an entertaining dinner hour was too tempting for him. Preschoolers' Prep made the front page of the Marketplace section today -- below the fold, but the color picture is in the center of the page, so maybe it counts as above the fold -- across the fold?
Hmmm...seems the WSJ is not feeling generous enough to make this gem available in the free part of its website. No bother, I'll summarize for you. The article discusses the growth of various tutoring and learning centers as parents fret about whether their kids have learned enough to succeed in kindergarten.
What the article neglects to mention is whether and what preschools these children have attended. Its moot to me but suggests a certain deficiency in reporting for not addressing the obvious question of whether it was the preschool that failed or the child. Opps -- there was one mention of preschool. The mother of a 4-year-old and a high-school English teacher who panicked when her son's preschool teacher reported that he couldn't write his name, identify his letters, count to 30 or wield scissors. Not that I think any of these things are panick-worthy, what I want to know is how could she not know the skill level of her child? She's a teacher and doesn't know what her own child can and cannot do? Sorry, but I can't help but read a bit of commentary into the quality of the education system itself given that she's a teacher.
Anyway, the part that chaps me is when the article gets around to presenting the "opposing view." You know, those oafs who don't care enough about their kids (or themselves, really) to pressure them to excellence; those losers who can't fork out $45 an hour for tutoring in basic skills; those idiots who couldn't possibly review colors, letters and numbers with their children themselves. They trot out David Elkind, a professor of child development, "whose books lament that children no longer have time to play." What, no column space for the titles after including important quotes like PR fluff from Sylvan and Kaplan?
I'll help you out, WSJ, Elkind is the author of Miseducation: Preschoolers at Risk and The Hurried Child , among others-- and no, these books don't help sell tutoring services. Also, his point is not that kids should be sitting around 'playing' all day (the horror!), its that overcompetitive parents may actually be harming their kids when they pressure and overschedule them and don't leave them time to play, think, and dream. Maybe a 30- or 40-something has the time, understanding, and money to put into therapy but they should lay off their kids.
Honestly, the kids will learn to read, but maybe not early enough for you to brag about it to all your friends. They will learn their colors and letters and numbers -- but they may not be doing it aloud at age 2 so that you can feel proud in the grocery store or other public venue.
Elkind points out (I believe, I've only read Miseducation and that was a couple of years ago) that while you may not be able to prove that the parents are harming their children by pressuring them, they are risking it for no reason at all. Early learning and achievement are not accurate barometers of future success. The kid may go on to do wonderful things, but might have done them anyway without the pressure. Maybe they could have enjoyed their childhoods more and the parent could have enjoyed the child more without all the worrying and stress. Maybe for some kids the pressure actually prevents them from achieving their potential -- that’s the real horror and Elkind says its pointless to risk it.
Am I getting Elkind wrong? Maybe, read him for yourself, but don't dismiss him as some wacko who thinks kids should play all day -- he's got reasons for saying what he does. He's not anti-education or anti-school, he just wonders what the rush is all about.
I'm the wacko who says let the kids play all day.
Hmmm...seems the WSJ is not feeling generous enough to make this gem available in the free part of its website. No bother, I'll summarize for you. The article discusses the growth of various tutoring and learning centers as parents fret about whether their kids have learned enough to succeed in kindergarten.
What the article neglects to mention is whether and what preschools these children have attended. Its moot to me but suggests a certain deficiency in reporting for not addressing the obvious question of whether it was the preschool that failed or the child. Opps -- there was one mention of preschool. The mother of a 4-year-old and a high-school English teacher who panicked when her son's preschool teacher reported that he couldn't write his name, identify his letters, count to 30 or wield scissors. Not that I think any of these things are panick-worthy, what I want to know is how could she not know the skill level of her child? She's a teacher and doesn't know what her own child can and cannot do? Sorry, but I can't help but read a bit of commentary into the quality of the education system itself given that she's a teacher.
Anyway, the part that chaps me is when the article gets around to presenting the "opposing view." You know, those oafs who don't care enough about their kids (or themselves, really) to pressure them to excellence; those losers who can't fork out $45 an hour for tutoring in basic skills; those idiots who couldn't possibly review colors, letters and numbers with their children themselves. They trot out David Elkind, a professor of child development, "whose books lament that children no longer have time to play." What, no column space for the titles after including important quotes like PR fluff from Sylvan and Kaplan?
I'll help you out, WSJ, Elkind is the author of Miseducation: Preschoolers at Risk and The Hurried Child , among others-- and no, these books don't help sell tutoring services. Also, his point is not that kids should be sitting around 'playing' all day (the horror!), its that overcompetitive parents may actually be harming their kids when they pressure and overschedule them and don't leave them time to play, think, and dream. Maybe a 30- or 40-something has the time, understanding, and money to put into therapy but they should lay off their kids.
Honestly, the kids will learn to read, but maybe not early enough for you to brag about it to all your friends. They will learn their colors and letters and numbers -- but they may not be doing it aloud at age 2 so that you can feel proud in the grocery store or other public venue.
Elkind points out (I believe, I've only read Miseducation and that was a couple of years ago) that while you may not be able to prove that the parents are harming their children by pressuring them, they are risking it for no reason at all. Early learning and achievement are not accurate barometers of future success. The kid may go on to do wonderful things, but might have done them anyway without the pressure. Maybe they could have enjoyed their childhoods more and the parent could have enjoyed the child more without all the worrying and stress. Maybe for some kids the pressure actually prevents them from achieving their potential -- that’s the real horror and Elkind says its pointless to risk it.
Am I getting Elkind wrong? Maybe, read him for yourself, but don't dismiss him as some wacko who thinks kids should play all day -- he's got reasons for saying what he does. He's not anti-education or anti-school, he just wonders what the rush is all about.
I'm the wacko who says let the kids play all day.
Monday, July 11, 2005
This From a Priest?
My brother, who is an Episcopal priest, forwarded this list to me. Its probably all over the internet and you're yawning and thinking 'how could she have not seen this one before?' Welcome to the slow lane.
If I knew who wrote it, I'd give proper credit; but I don't, so I won't other than to say that I didn't write it.
The Guys' Rules
Finally, the guys' side of the story. We always hear"the rules"from the female side.
Now here are the rules from the male side.
Please note...these are all numbered "1"ON PURPOSE!
1.Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.We need it up, you need it down.You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Sunday sports.
It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:Subtle hints do not work!Strong hints do not work!Obvious hints do not work!Just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it.
That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after7 days.
1.If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both.
If you already know best how to do it,just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
1.Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing,"we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying,but it is just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wearis fine...Really.
1.You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.
1. Thank you for reading this.Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;but did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
If I knew who wrote it, I'd give proper credit; but I don't, so I won't other than to say that I didn't write it.
The Guys' Rules
Finally, the guys' side of the story. We always hear"the rules"from the female side.
Now here are the rules from the male side.
Please note...these are all numbered "1"ON PURPOSE!
1.Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.We need it up, you need it down.You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Sunday sports.
It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:Subtle hints do not work!Strong hints do not work!Obvious hints do not work!Just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it.
That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after7 days.
1.If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both.
If you already know best how to do it,just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
1.Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing,"we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying,but it is just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wearis fine...Really.
1.You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.
1. Thank you for reading this.Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;but did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
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