Saturday, August 05, 2006

New Class for Homeschoolers

After reading an article in The Washington Post Magazine about the efforts required to get your child into preschool and reading the class listings in my county's recreation guide, I've come to the conclusion once again that its all about money and prestige, it has little to do with what is best for the child (other than assuming if everyone else is doing it, it must be best for the child). Really, preschool, it seems, is necessary because who can go to the trouble of making playdates?

Throw into the mix all the Back to School advertisements focusing on 'fashion-musts' for the institution-bound and I'm inspired to provide what has been lacking for homeschoolers for too long.

Plans are in the works for a new Social Trauma for Homeschoolers class. Topics addressed will include: Negative Body Image; Owning Your "Loser" Status for those who have been placed in the lower tracks; and Its Not Who You Are, Its Who You Date (And What You Wear). There will be a special "Back to School" night so that parents can be take part in the social trauma as well. There will even be a silent auction because nothing says status like showing how much you're willing to pay for an item you don't need or want.

The classes for the kids will begin with putting large groups of children on buses and ostracize and torment many of them. Those not tormented will be deemed 'popular' and they will have to conform to peer expectations or face ostracism. Just like in the 'real world', in Social Trauma, even the winners are losers. We will move on to a simulated cafeteria environment in which snubs and mockery rule -- fear of being different will be the focus of additional exercises. At the end of the year, we will have a Prom, for which we will prepare the entire year, focusing on fashion, dating, and how to secure a hotel room for teenage drinking and sex. Learning will be done at home, as it usually is.

I enjoyed school, the work is easy if you're aural/visual and quick to grasp the lessons and there is a lot of drama to keep you from getting bored. I really did learn more at home, though.


Anonymous said...

Hmm, I htink we're a little young for your class, Marjorie. Do you have anything on offer for 9-12 year olds? Maybe Early Social Ostracism (the formation of 4th and 5th grade cliques) or You're Wearing That: Fashion for the Socially Hopeless? And for the K/1st grade set, there's always, "You Can't Come to My Birthday Party": The Inside Scoop on the "Cool Kids". Just some ideas for your new academy!

Marjorie said...

You're right, Rebecca! I'm so short-sighted. Social Trauma begins way before High School. I think we need an entire K-12 program -- maybe we can have an Academy of Social Stigma or something that works out to a cool acronym -- I'm working on the fly, here, will have to give it more thought. Thank!