Chastised! Episode II: Revenge of the Pith

I've been thinking about my last post in which I was chastised by a stranger for using sarcasm with my child. While there was probably nothing worthwhile I could have said to my critic, I am now in the process of considering pithy responses. Today's incident was not a Costanza moment for me ("oh yeah? Well I slept with your wife!"). I would never want to actually say any of these but its sure empowering for me to think about it.

Responses to "children don't understand sarcasm":

"Shouldn't we do something about that?"

"Oh, was I being sarcastic with my kids?"

"They would if you used sarcasm as much as I do"

"How else am I supposed to entertain myself?"

"Thats nothing, you should hear me at home."

"Hey, I'm not coddling my kids. Its a tough world out there."

"You're assuming I want them to understand what I'm saying."

"Oh, and I guess I shouldn't tell her when she's being a bitch either."

"Oh dear, and I really thought I was a shoo-in for Mother of the Year"

"Its alright, I'm a homeschooler."

Responses to any unsolicited parenting advice:

"That which doesn't kill them, makes them stronger."

"Don't worry, the State has already assigned a social-worker to monitor our
family."

"I'll take it under advisement." -- legalese for 'screw you'

"Thanks for the advice, you will now be mocked on the internet."

"I was raised with sarcasm and I turned out fine."

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